But even after I started feeling a little better, I found that I had lost more than just my faith. I had lost my passion for the future I had been creating. In fact, I couldn’t even see that future for myself anymore. I didn’t want what I wanted before, and I couldn’t think of anything else worth wanting.
I slowly started to realise that maybe I had already got everything I could think of wanting.
I mean, think about it. I’m a single Indian woman of 33 with a independent creative business that I can run from wherever I am, and work with whoever I want. I’m the boss of my own life, I’m an expert in my field, I do what I want, when I want, and I don’t depend on anyone for anything, apart from some emotional fulfilment.
But something is truly, deeply missing. Did I lose it, or was it really never there? Have I just been hiding it under the constant drive to achieve the next goal? This big empty hole that makes life feel so shallow? And where do I go from here, this persistent place of emptiness?
I don’t know yet what comes next. But I know it’s time to move on.
I just want to quit and move on. I want to move on from a culture of consumption. Travel, information, entertainment, commodities, internet, sights and sounds, food and drink, jewelry makeup clothing television movies celebrities magazines, these things used to be occasional treats and now they are ubiquitous and they are making us all obese and constipated, jam-packed and unable to push anything out because there is just so much to process that nothing ever gets done anymore.
I just want to move on from a life of leisure. Doing whatever I want whenever I want is great, in that it lends me the freedom to choose the life I want, but without a sense of purpose and contribution, there is no satisfaction, no richness, no true wealth. You can have everything you want and still feel empty, because wealth doesn’t come from having. In fact, why is wealth a pursuit at all?
I just want to move on from the idea that human connection is necessary in the form of a relationship or marriage. That may have been the case when we were all separated by distances that weren’t easily traversed, but between cheap airtickets and constant internet access in hand, disconnecting from humans to connect with myself more often seems a much more valuable endeavour. I’m a woman of power, I don’t need a man to protect me or provide for me. I can find fulfilment in any number of relationships, be they emotional, professional, physical, or otherwise. Why do we cling to the archaic idea of clinging to one person who is supposed to fulfil all the needs you can’t fulfil for yourself? It’s so limiting to us as a species capable of a higher consciousness.
Why do we cling to connecting with one person, when we are all intrinsically connected?
I just want to move on from doing something just to do something. I have the great gift of consciousness, I can choose to refrain from doing something just to fill the empty void of time. Why does productivity have to take the shape that a capitalistic society gives it? Are monks less productive than bankers? Or factory workers? Or students? Who defines human productivity, besides the human to whom it applies?
It’s time to move on from my own expectations of myself. I am perfect as I am, and I will be perfect as I will be tomorrow, and next year. From moment to moment to moment, I am exactly who and where I should be, and so shall I be until my body no longer carries me. The footprints I leave behind, the legacy in my wake, will be exactly as it should be to make my tiny contribution in the tides of evolution.
It’s just about that time, time to move on from the world of more: having more, being more, doing more — to a world of less, of doing with less, of having less, of being less “I, me, us” that artificially separates each one of us from the fabric of all of us.
What are we racing towards? We aren’t even winning, we are just racing because it’s what we think we need to do. It’s time to move on from good or bad, winning or losing, beautiful or ugly, loving or hating, and just accepting things as they are.
It’s time to move on from constantly moving forward. When you stop moving, you feel the the entire universe moving, around you and inside you.
Just stop moving and be still. And see what magic unfolds…
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